Roger turns his attention to Steve's friend Snot who teaches him about Hanukkah, prompting him to convert to Judaism. Roger then decides to make Hanukkah more popular than Christmas by stealing Santa's powers, and becoming Schmanta Claus.

Francine becomes a conspiracy theorist when she finds out Stan has been shielding her from unhappy news; Klaus and Steve help Snot pimp out his basement.

Stan and Hayley compete in collecting data for the US Census; Klaus has Steve and his friends model for his new camera.

Steve tries to stop Roger after he joins a mysterious order of birds' egg thieves; Francine buys a new Italian sauce for the family.

Stan discovers that the Langley Falls historical mural has been ruined by graffiti and neglect and convinces the town to allow him to restore the mural himself; Roger becomes Steve's instructor at a prestigious clowning university.

Hayley gets a job as a delivery driver and begins delivering lunch to Stan's office; when she sees the terrible work conditions, she organizes a strike; the family watches Breaking Bad in reverse and discovers the show is hiding a scavenger hunt.

Stan begins to experience crippling separation anxiety, which affects his performance at work; Klaus builds a website and forces the rest of the family to participate.

Francine hosts a dinner party even though a serial killer who attacks dinner parties is terrorizing the town; when the lights go out and guests start to disappear, Roger takes charge of solving the mystery of who is stalking the party.

Bullock asks Stan to fill in for him at his class at the CIA Academy and Stan finds that the cadets are the perfect captive audience for his boring stories; Klaus becomes the hype-man for a famous rapper

When Steve starts acting out his sexual energy, Francine asks Stan to give him the talk, but he makes Steve join a creepy father-daughter celibacy club with him instead. Also, the family builds a water slide in the backyard.

Roger becomes worried about outliving the family; Klaus opens a convenience store in the attic.

Francine falls in with a group of tough girls after becoming the new school guidance counselor. Jeff panics when he loses his hat.

After her family accuses her of being a quitter, Francine becomes a bodybuilder. Klaus claims to have invented the high five.

Jeff starts hanging out with Stan's favorite celebrity chef while in search of an identity. Klaus and Roger start their own valet operation.

Stan has to take over Roger’s different personas after a tumor takes him out of commission. Principal Lewis pressures Steve and the school choir to do whatever it takes to win.

Steve gets competitive during the father-son events at Possum Lake. Roger learns how to ride a bike.

Steve and Roger restart their career as a twin brother acting duo. The family becomes addicted to a novelty gift shop.

Steve goes to boarding school, only to discover it's an all-girls school. Stan is annoyed by a parade of characters that come to take Steve's place at home.

Francine becomes obsessed with home security after a break-in rattles her. Steve tries on Hayley's laidback approach to school work.

Hayley feels left behind after Jeff becomes a star dog racing coach; Steve takes advantage of an empty house.

Worried about their bickering, Stan and Francine go to extremes to save their marriage. Roger excels at jingle writing.