With her vision waning, Lois elects to get LASIK surgery, but exploits her new disability for monetary gain. Meanwhile, Peter, Chris and Stewie must partake in all the activities with Doug that his father neglects.

While at an old record store, Peter and the guys recount tales of three rock legends: Jim Morrison, Muddy Waters and Elton John.

Quagmire meets an avid dog lover, and pretends Brian is his dog in an attempt to win her over. Meanwhile, Chris helps Stewie track down the culprit who stole his Halloween candy.

Impelled by nostalgia, Peter recreates movie scenes from his favorite decade; Stewie and Doug compete to retrieve a Frisbee stuck at the top of the jungle gym.

When Peter and Quagmire accidentally switch underwear, they begin to mimic the other's behavior. Stewie and Doug agree to commit each other's murders.

Stewie takes drastic measures when he thinks he is diagnosed with terminal cooties. Peter becomes infatuated with Bonnie's cooking.

Lois and her father attend the funeral of Lois' childhood nanny. Peter and the rest of the family turn Pewterschmidt mansion into a hotel.

A new boss quells Peter’s favorite part about work: office birthdays. Stewie is put in detention and comes out a ruffian.

In noir-style, Peter/Mac investigates the disappearance of Meg/Sister Megan.

After a Christmas tree lightning ceremony Brian crashes into Mayor West's nativity scene causing outrage.

An accident leaves Peter with a high-pitched voice, so Jesus coaches him into fending off the choir boys; Stewie is attracted to Lois' new masculine physique.

At odds with Peter, Lois takes Quagmire to her high school reunion; the rest of the family must cover up the death of a pizza delivery man.

Peter hires the town's new lawyer, Brick Baker, to represent him in litigation against his new neighbor -- who turns out to be Brick; Brian and Stewie become lobstermen and save Rupert from the perils of the deep.

Meg is invigorated by her new role as a getaway driver. Meanwhile, Quagmire can't rid himself of the hiccups and implores Peter to kill him.

After Brian sustains an injury, Lois gets hooked on his painkillers. Meanwhile, Cleveland refurbishes Peter's ping pong table, which becomes the hot spot in the neighborhood.

When Lois' piano student, Alana, comes to work for the Griffins, Lois is initially glad for the help, until she realizes Alana's intentions are more sinister than she thought.

Peter and Chris take a road trip to Canada to prove the existence of Chris' girlfriend. Meanwhile, Lois and Meg compete for the attention of a handsome handyman.

The guys' physical prowess is tested at Mayor West's dude ranch. Meanwhile, Stewie thinks he's gotten his first period.

Peter attends a business conference in Atlantic City with Preston. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris prepare for his role in Adam West High's rendition of "Romeo and Juliet".