Tina Fey Vandalizes Dave's Car. Jeremy Irvine tells Dave about his quick rise to stardom in "War Horse."

Dave welcomes actress Kristen Bell and musical guest Blind Pilot.

Dave welcomes actor Mark Wahlberg, actress Heather Morris, and musical guest Snow Patrol. "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Un Celebrated His Birthday". The Glee star turns filmmaker with a special video for Dave.

Dave welcomes Kate Beckinsale, Bloopers with Marv Albert, and music from The Little Willies.

Dave welcomes musician Dolly Parton and writer Alan Zweibel. Top Ten Things Kim Jong-Un Wants To Accomplish As Supreme Commander of North Korea. What's proper bus etiquette? Dolly airs out all the details. A charity lunch date turns into a nightmare for Alan.

Dave welcomes Senator John McCain and musical guest Johnny Winter.

Dave welcomes actor Ricky Gervais, actress Jessica Chastain, and musical guest Kathleen Edwards.

Dave welcomes actress Marg Helgenberger from the CBS drama series "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," actor Michael Fassbender, and musical guest Ellie Goulding.

Dave welcomes comedian Kathy Griffin, actor Simon Helberg from the CBS comedy series "The Big Bang Theory," and musical guest Joseph Aurthur.

Dave welcomes comedian Dana Carvey, Jon Fisch and musical guest Los Campesinos! performs.

Dave welcomes actress Jennifer Lopez, actor Rob Schneider form the CBS comedy series "Rob!", and musical guest James McCartney.

Dave welcomes actor Bill Murray and musical guest Girls' Generation.

Dave welcomes radio host Howard Stern and musical guest The Airborne Toxic Event.

Dave welcomes actress Michelle Williams, comic Jake Johannsen and musical guest Ziggy Marley. Top Ten Super Bowl Fun Facts. Why wasn't Michelle paying attention to her Academy Awards nominations announcement?

Highlights from Biff's big day at the Super Bowl in Indianapolis. Dave's "favorite" Manning talks about his brother Peyton's football future. Sarah embarrasses herself in front of a group of punk kids. The South African rap-rave group performs "I Fink U Freeky."

Dave welcomes actor Denzel Washington and musical guest The Fray.

Dave welcomes actor Ryan Reynolds, actress Ellie Kemper, and musical guest Dierks Bentley. Before "The Office," there was "The Man Under The Stairs."

Dave welcomes actor Nicolas Cage, actress Michelle Dockery, A Top Ten List presented by Foo Fighters, and musical guest The Kills. Top Ten Interesting Facts About The GrammyAwards. Nicolas Cage tells how he and Charlie Sheen were nearly arrested for making trouble on a plane. Is Nicolas Cage a vampire? The "Ghost Rider" star addresses the rumors sweeping the Internet. Dave welcomes Michelle Dockery, star of the hit PBS series, "Downton Abbey."

Dave welcomes actor David Spade from the CBS comedy series "Rules Of Engagement" and musical guest Betty Wright.

Dave welcomes actress Reese Witherspoon, a Top Ten List with 10 of the 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models and the reveal of the 2012 cover model, actor Michael Weatherly from the CBS drama series "NCIS", and musical guests Kasabian. Top Ten Reasons This Year's 'Sports Illustrated' Swimsuit Issue Is The Best One Ever.

Dave welcomes actress Viola Davis, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Model Kate Upton, and musical guests Mark Ronson and Erykah Badu.

Dave welcomes TV show host Jon Stewart, American Bagging Champion Stephanie Teteak, and musical guests Yelawolf and Kid Rock.

Dave welcomes comedian Joan Rivers, actor Andrew Lincoln, and musical guest Jason Mraz.

The Academy Award nominee Kristen Wiig takes a tumble in front of pretty boy Brad Pitt.

Dave welcomes animal expert "Jungle" Jack Hanna and actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

What happened to Kristin Chenoweth's formerly perky eyes? Why is Kristin Chenoweth wearing sunglasses? Find out when she tells Dave about the problem with her eyelash extensions.

Dave welcomes actor Matthew Broderick, comedian Nick Griffin, and musical guests We Are Augustines.

Dave welcomes actor Ed Helms, sportscaster Dan Patrick, and musical guest Lyle Lovett.

Dave welcomes actor Nathan Lane, actress Pauley Perrette from the CBS drama series "NCIS" and musical guest Estelle.

Dave and Neil Patrick Harris have an awkward green room encounter. The Late Show cue card takes you into the weird world of candle-making. Top Ten Frequently Asked Questions About Leap Year. After years of speculation, Neil reveals the big "How I Met Your Mother" secret. The "John Carter" star runs into some trouble on his way to work in the Philippines. The Robert Glasper Experiment featuring Lupe Fiasco and Bilal perform "Always Shine" from the CD, "Black Radio."

Dave welcomes actor Will Ferrell and actor Jon Bernthal.

Dave welcomes actress Amanda Peet and actor Nick Offerman. Musical guests The Chieftains with Low Anthem and a Top Ten List presented by musician Cee Lo Green.

Dave welcomes actor Martin Short and musical guests The Ting Tings. Martin upsets a famous female broadcaster and her husband (but it's not Connie Chung and Maury Povich).

Dave welcomes First Lady Michelle Obama and musical guest Esperanza Spalding.

Dave welcomes actress Jennifer Lawrence, journalist/author Gail Collins and musical guests The Shins. "Hunger Games" star Jennifer Lawrence tells Dave how she hates watching herself on the big screen.

Dave welcomes actress Debra Messing, actor Josh Hutcherson, and musical guests Oberhofer. The "Smash" star discovers a lot of fake Debra Messings on Twitter.

Dave welcomes journalist Rachel Maddow, actor Timothy Olyphant, and musical guests Train.

Dave welcomes actor Jason Sudeikis, musician Lionel Richie, and musical guests Lionel Richie with Jason Aldean. A lesson in bad parenting: Jason Sudeikis recalls how his Dad once took his ticket to a Final Four game and invited a friend instead. Jason Sudeikis shows Dave a special bat he received from Kansas City Royal and Hall of Famer George Brett.

Dave welcomes actor/comedian Chris Elliott, former President of the Maldives/climate change activist Mohamed Nasheed, and musical guest Justin Townes Earle.

Dave welcomes actor/comedian Tracy Morgan, sportscaster Jim Rome, and a performance from the Broadway musical “Once.”

Dave welcomes actress Megan Mullally, comedian Joe Wong, and musical guest Band of Skulls.

Dave welcomes talk show host Keith Olbermann, actress/singer Allison Williams, and musical guests Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real. Top Ten Questions Received by the Marshmallow Peeps Hotline. Keith Olbermann addresses allegations surrounding his departure from Current TV. Allison Williams, star of Girls, talks about having news anchor Brian Williams as her dad.

Dave welcomes actor Kiefer Sutherland, actor Eugene Levy, and musical guests The Punch Brothers. Top Ten Sneezes. Kiefer tries to keep up with his energetic grandkids. Eugene, Paul Shaffer and Martin Short form a Rat Pack of old Jewish guys.

Biff Henderson hangs with Jeter, Reggie and more at NY Yankees Spring Training. Ricky Gervais brings Dave an age-appropriate gift for his upcoming birthday. Cobie Smulders worked in Europe as a model when she was 17, but didn't party. True or false?

Dave welcomes Masters Champ Bubba Watson, actor Sean Hayes and musical guest Shooter Jennings. Bubba Watson dons the coveted green jacket and talks "Bubba Golf" with Dave. Dave's ready for Sean Hayes' interview, but is Sean Hayes ready for Dave?

Dave welcomes Basketball legends Magic Johnson and Larry Bird, comedian Jim Gaffigan, and musical guests Kaiser Chiefs. They were competitors on the court, but how did Magic Johnson and Larry Bird get along off the court?

Dave welcomes actor Billy Crystal and musical guests Alabama Shakes. In celebration of Dave's 65th birthday, Billy Crystal shares a special video he created for the occasion. Billy Crystal shares his great old showbiz story about comedian Red Foxx.

Dave welcomes actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus, comedian Keith Alberstadt, and musical guest Bonnie Raitt. She couldn't actually get close to First Lady Michelle Obama, but Julia still got a picture with her.

Dave welcomes Actor Jason Segel from the CBS comedy series 'How I Met Your Mother,' author Zach Wahls, musical guests Fun, and a Top Ten List presented by Chicago White Sox perfect game pitcher Philip Humber.

Dave welcomes actress Amy Poehler, talk show host/actress Wendy Williams, and musical guests Trampled by Turtles. "Parks and Recreation" star Amy Poehler talks about her two kids. Is her oldest son watching her every move?

Dave welcomes actor Rob Lowe, Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer, and musical guests The War on Drugs. Rob reveals the source of his tweet about Peyton Manning.

Dave welcomes actor Robin Williams and prospective NFL #1 draft pick Andrew Luck. Robin Williams: Secret Service Scandal.

Dave welcomes actor Chris Hemsworth, comedian Darrell Hammond and musical guest Miike Snow. How well does Chris know the other Avengers? Dave puts him to the test. Sue Hum Tells Don Rickles Jokes.

Dave welcomes Comedian Don Rickles and musical guest Carrie Underwood. Regis crashes the party to tell a story about Don Rickles and Frank Sinatra.

Dave welcomes Comedian Seth Meyers, actress Krysten Ritter, and musical guest Father John Misty. Seth Meyers recalls his faux pas when meeting President Obama at last year's White House Correspondents Dinner.

An all-new group of animals joins Dave for Stupid Pet Tricks. Johnny Galecki's Anatomy Lesson. Johnny Galecki learns about female anatomy from a 6-year old kid.

Dave welcomes talk show host Stephen Colbert, actress Chloe Grace Moretz, and a performance from the Broadway musical Nice Work If You Can Get It. Stephen Colbert's Super PAC. Chloe Grace Moretz describes her first awkward encounter with "Dark Shadows" co-star Johnny Depp.

Dave welcomes journalist Anderson Cooper, aviation enthusiast/ inventor Yves "Jetman" Rossy and musical guest Electric Guess. Anderson Cooper and Dave compare notes on comedian Kathy Griffin.

Dave welcomes talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw, actress Beth Behrs from the CBS comedy series “2 Broke Girls”, and musical guests Spiritualized. What's Dave's problem? Dr. Phil tries to help.

Jimmy Carter in a Speedo? "Morning Joe" co-host Mika Brzezinski shares colorful stories from her past.

Dave welcomes Actress Eva Longoria, comedian Tom Dreesen, musical guests Florence and the Machine, and musician Booker T. Jones sits in with Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra.

Dave welcomes Kid Scientists, actress Elizabeth Banks, and musical guests Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros. Kid Scientist Cairo Lawrence demonstrates her "Newtonian Headgear". Kid Scientist Jack Brandt demonstrates the "Can Crush". Elizabeth Banks recalls a family road trip where her sister got left behind at a McDonald's.

Dave welcomes actor Jon Cryer from the CBS comedy series "Two and a Half Men", comedian Tommy Johnagin and musical guest M.Ward. Jon's German fans get a surprise when they visit his star on the Walk of Fame.

Dave welcomes talk show host Kelly Ripa, actor Adam Scott, and musical guests Tenacious D.

Dave welcomes news anchor Brian Williams and musical guests El-P. See what Brian Williams is up to when Dave turns on the camera in the "Late Show" Green Room.

Dave welcomes actress Betty White, former U.S. Marine Corporal Moses Maddox, and musical guests Best Coast. Betty White Gets Hot With Regis. He played a gay hairdresser on Betty's show, but apparently Regis is quite the ladies' man.

Dave welcomes late night talk show host Conan O'Brien, musical guest Regina Spektor, and musician John Mayer sits in with Paul Shaffer & the CBS Orchestra. Conan O'Brien tells Dave about the differences between himself and Jay Leno. Conan O'Brien tells what happened when his son had a hunger fit before meeting President Obama.

Dave welcomes actor Sacha Baron Cohen, Julie Chen, co-host of the CBS daytime talk show "The Talk" and musical guests Beach House. Find out why Sacha Baron Cohen is better off staying at home than attending star-studded Hollywood parties. "The Talk" host Julie Chen tells tales of Martha Stewart and Howard Stern.

Dave welcomes actress Lea Michele and director Barry Sonnenfeld. The Glee star explains her family's unusual tradition of getting inked. The Men in Black director explains how he deals with big-time actors like Will Smith and Josh Brolin. The "award-winning" martial artists from Ringling Brothers takes on the 48 Blades of Doom.

Will Smith made an appearance on the "Late Show with David Letterman" and discussed his slapping of a reporter who kissed him on the "Men in Black 3" Moscow red carpet.

Dave welcomes The Piedmont Bird Callers, talk show host Bill O'Reilly, and musical guest Pitbull. They may not agree on politics, but will Dave and Bill come together for a friendly fist bump?

Dave welcomes Comedian Joan Rivers, Indianapolis 500 winner Dario Franchitti, and musical guests Silversun Pickups. Joan Rivers Licks The Queen. Joan talks about her "close friends" in England's Royal Family. Dave and Dario discuss the exciting final lap of this year's Indianapolis 500.

First Lady Michelle Obama presents the "Top Ten Fun Facts About Gardening." Tony Awards host Neil Patrick Harris tells what it's like to be interviewed by Oprah in your own home. Alan Jackson performing "So You Don't Have To Love Me Anymore" from his CD, "Thirty Miles West."

Dave welcomes actress Jane Fonda, Mayor of London Boris Johnson, and musical guest Jimmy Cliff. Dave discovers something disturbing when he takes a look back at Jane's workout videos. The mayor talks about London, Michael Bloomberg and his hair.

Dave welcomes actor Bill Murray and musical guests The Temper Trap. Top Ten Other Superhero Revelations. Will there be a "Ghostbusters 3"? Bill Murray tells Dave what it will take to make that happen. How tough is the crowd at the Cannes Film Festival? Bill Murray explains. Bill Murray tells of his "Hollywood fight" with Chevy Chase. Plus: how things have changed at SNL. Following the likes of Tupac, Marilyn Monroe, Sinatra and Elvis, Bill Murray introduces his very own hologram.

Dave welcomes actor Mark Wahlberg, Formula One driver Sebastian Vettel, and musical guests Black Box Revelation. Mark talks about being the "dumbest f**ker ever" during his time in prison. The Formula One champion talks about what it takes to drive in New Jersey. Black Box Revelation performing "High on a Wire" from their CD release, "My Perception."

Dave welcomes animal expert Jack Hanna, musical guest Patti Smith, and musician Bootsy Collins sits in with Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra. Top Ten Other White House Leaks. Can a camel have a drinking problem? Dave think so in the latest visit from "Jungle" Jack Hanna and his animals. Patti Smith performs the title track from her album, "Banga."

Adam remembers the first time he heard his father curse. Adam gives his 3-year old daughter an adult chore. Adam admits that he and the other SNL guys used to follow Dave around at NBC.

Dave welcomes talk show host Regis Philbin, comedian Lenny Marcus, and musical guest Elizabeth Cook. Regis Philbin recounts how he took a spill on the Vespa that Dave gifted him. Regis guest-stars on Betty White's show, but were the co-stars ever a couple?

Dave welcomes actor Denis Leary, actress Olivia Wilde, and musical guests The Pierces. The San Francisco Giants perfect game pitcher presents the "Top Ten Things I Want To Achieve Now That I've Thrown A Perfect Game". Denis has come up with the next killer app idea. Olivia and boyfriend Jason Sudeikis went to Jamaica, but it turned into a bad Japanese game show. The duo from Alabama performs "You'll Be Mine" from their album, "You & I."

Dave welcomes actor Jeff Daniels, actor Benjamin Walker, and musical guest Walk the Moon. Top Ten Things an Out-Of-Touch Person Would Say. Actor and certified RV driver Jeff Daniels tells of becoming a connoisseur of truck stops. Jeff Daniels shares stories about driving his RV around the country. "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" star Benjamin Walker shares a story about performing on Broadway.

Dave welcomes actor Alec Baldwin and musical guest Michael Kiwanuka. To mark the beginning of summer, Dave and Alec go pantsless. Alec sets the record straight about what he was saying to the Daily News photographer. Alec shares some behind the scenes info about Dave's appearance on his podcast. Alec talks about how he had to get loud with the legendary film director.

Dave welcomes musician Justin Bieber and actor/comedian Michael Ian Black. Top Ten Summer Blockbuster Films About Presidents. Can the Biebs sing opera? Dave and Paul do their best to make Justin Bieber an opera star. Now that he's graduated from high school, will Justin Bieber be heading off to college? Justin Bieber shows Dave the new tattoo he got in honor of his new CD, "Believe." Justin Bieber talks about celebrating his 18th birthday. Plus: does this mean he'll get out and vote?

Dave welcomes actress Emma Stone, comedian Jimmie Walker, and musical guests Diamond Rugs. Top Ten Things You May Not Know About The United States Supreme Court. Alan Kalter tests Bill's knowledge of the 70's Oakland Athletics. After traveling the globe, Emma discovers the one thing that everybody in the world can agree on.

Dave welcomes Miami Heat star and NBA Finals MVP LeBron James, actor Andrew Garfield and musical guest Maroon 5. From the world champion Miami Heat, Dave welcomes NBA Finals MVP LeBron James. "The Amazing Spider-Man" star Andrew Garfield gets some amazing wisdom about life from Dave.

Dave welcomes actor Channing Tatum, Scott Pelley, anchor and managing editor of the CBS Evening News, and musical guests The Gaslight Anthem. Top Ten Words That Could Be Mistaken For 'Boo'. Channing Tatum offers to help Dave learn the art of male stripping. Can Channing Tatum outdo Matt Damon with his Matthew McConaughey impression? Channing Tatum tells Dave about his "Survivor"-like experience in the jungles of South America. Dave gives the CBS Evening News anchor a helpful tip on how to have a long career in broadcasting.

Dave welcomes actress Blake Lively and New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees. Top Ten Least Popular Picnic Offerings. "Savages" star Blake Lively tells Dave about her last-minute trip to the Super Bowl. New Orleans Saints Quarterback Drew Brees talks about his efforts to reduce the risk of concussions with Dick's Sporting Goods' PACE Program. Quarterback Drew Brees discusses the investigation into a pay-to-injure scheme within the New Orleans Saints.

Dave welcomes actor Ray Romano and musical guest Tom Waits. And the Top Ten list presented by 10 American League All-Stars. Derek Jeter, Josh Hamilton and the American League stars present the "Top Ten Fun Facts About The All-Star Game." Ray shows off one of his son's odd eBay purchases. Ray explains why he and his wife have two more years left together. Tom performs "Chicago" from his album, "Bad As Me". The music legend shows off his better mousetrap.

Actress/singer Queen Latifah, actor Fred Armisen, musical guests Cory Chisel and the Wandering Sons, musician Buddy Guy sits in with Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra. Kayaker/Shark Top Ten. "Ice Age: Continental Drift" star Queen Latifah gets carried away by the music of blues legend Buddy Guy. "SNL" star Fred Armisen talks about the making of his TV series, "Portlandia."

Dave welcomes actor Bryan Cranston, New York Mets All-Star pitcher R.A. Dickey and musical guests Zac Brown Band. Top Ten Superhero Pet Peeves. Steve Martin moves in on Dave's turf with his own New York City celebrity park. "Breaking Bad" star Bryan Cranston gets an odd autograph request. NY Mets All-Star R.A. Dickey demonstrates his crazy knuckleball pitch for Dave.

Dave welcomes actress Anne Hathaway, comedian Moody McCarthy, and musical guest Loudon Wainwright III. Top Ten Other Popular Erotic Novels. Anne Hathaway talks about performing her own stunts in "The Dark Knight Rises" and the forthcoming "Les Miserables".

Dave welcomes comedian Roseanne Barr, actress Aubrey Plaza, and musical guest Jeff the Brotherhood. Top Ten Ways To Describe the Current Weather. Don't mess with her medical marijuana! Roseanne Barr has a stern warning for President Obama. She once suffered a stroke, so does actress Aubrey Plaza qualify for medical marijuana?

Dave welcomes actress Kyra Sedgwick, sportscasters Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg, and musical guest Red Wanting Blue. Top Ten Questions On The Application To Become Mitt Romney's Running Mate. Kyra remembers the sights, sounds and smells of New York City in the summer. Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg talk about the New York Knicks losing Jeremy Lin.

Dave welcomes actor Woody Harrelson, comedian Todd Barry, and musical guest Grafitti6. Top Ten North Korean Hit Songs. Woody Harrelson tells how he embarrassed himself racing his bike through NYC.

Dave welcomes actor Will Ferrell and musical guest Rufus Wainwright. Top Ten Television Shows Not Nominated For An Emmy. Which big Hollywood star has a little penis? Ask Will Ferrell's son.

Dave welcomes actor Zach Galifianakis, former U.S. Army Sgt. Valerie Brown, and musical guest Allen Stone. Dave has some fun with the "Late Show" Hose Cam at the expense movie superstar Zach Galifianakis ("The Campaign"). Awkward! See what happens when "The Campaign" star Zach Galifianakis shows up wearing the same suit as TV's Paul Shaffer. Zach Galifianakis tells how he got co-star Will Ferrell to moon a group of fans. Dave welcomes former Army Sgt. Valerie Brown to discuss her military service and ongoing job search.

Dave welcomes actor Jonah Hill, cardiothoracic surgery professor Dr. Leonard Girardi, and musical guest Milo Greene. Top Ten Excuses Of The Burger King Employee Who Stood In The Lettuce. Jonah Hill's grandma isn't happy with Martin Scorsese. Find out why. Dave discusses his heart bypass and more with Dr. Leonard Girardi from NY Med.

Dave welcomes actor Joel McHale, comedian Andrew Norelli, and musical guest Will.I.Am. Top Ten Nations Competing in the Olympics or Bones in the Human Body. Biff Henderson hangs out with some of the United States' top athletes. Are Joel McHale and Chevy Chase fighting behind the scenes at "Community"?

Dave welcomes Andy Samberg, gold medal-winning U.S. Olympic decathlete Ashton Eaton and Glen Hansard performs. Top Ten Little-Known Facts About Paul Ryan. Bill Scheft tries to recall numbers of some of the great U.S. track and field Olympic stars. Andy awkwardly tries to describe the Olympics opening ceremony in one word. He won the gold medal at the Olympics, but can Ashton Eaton do comedy? The U.S. decathlete breaks down his gold medal-winning performance at the 2012 Olympics.

Dave welcomes the gold medal-winning U.S. Women's Olympic Gymnastics team, actress Jennifer Garner, and musical guest Rodriguez. Top Ten Other Promotional Corporate Vehicles. Jennifer Garner loves being 40, but how does hubby Ben Affleck feel about reaching the 4-0? McKayla Maroney and her US Olympic Gymnastics teammates recreate her infamous "not impressed" face. What sports would they compete in if they weren't gymnasts? Find out when Dave welcomes the gold medal-winning US Women's Olympic Gymnastics team, Kyla, Jordan, McKayla, Aly and Gabby.

Dave welcomes News anchor Tom Brokaw, U.S. Women's Olympic swimming gold medalist Dana Vollmer, musical guest Beth Orton, and Top Ten List is presented by musician Lionel Richie. Top Ten Rejected Lionel Richie Song Lyrics. Rattlesnakes, shock collars and more when Dave and Tom discuss the wild west. The Olympic swimmer talks about overcoming her medical issues to win gold in London.

Dave welcomes actor Tracy Morgan, U.S. Men's Olympic High Jump silver medalist Erik Kynard, and musical guest Ben Howard. Top Ten Things We've Learned About Mars. Tracy Morgan tells Dave about his new "Jaws"-themed shark tank. Did Tracy Morgan go to high school with Mitt Romney? The "30 Rock" star tells all. Olympic silver medal champion Erik Kynard, Jr. tells Dave how he got involved in the high jump.

An announcement from Augusta National; Obama beer; how Osama bin Laden really died; Dave makes fireworks better; the Mars Curiosity. Top Ten Congressman Kevin Yoder Excuses. Kelsey recalls getting choked by a famous actress during an audition. Olivia went to Sweden and all she saw was some mist on a lake.

Dave welcomes actor/comedian Bill Hader, actress Mary Louise Parker, and musical guest The Walkmen. How bin Laden Really Died; Misbehaving Politicians; a Skateboarding Goat; a Top Ten list Presented by Members of the United States Air Force; and That Ain't Apple Juice.

Hurricane at the RNC?; "Nobody Cares"; An Apology Template; and the Dave/Trump Thing. TOP TEN: SIGNS YOUR CONGRESSMAN IS AN IDIOT Should Rep. Todd Akin quit the Senate race? MSNBC's Rachel Maddow weighs in.

How bin Laden really died; RNC advice for fellow Republicans; a Chris Christie non-fat joke; Dave on Trump; a Top Ten List; the Weekend Late Show; and Alan Kalter Takes You Inside. TOP TEN: QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE BUYING $300 SNEAKERS

Happenings at the Republican National Convention; Lance Armstrong; Roger Clemens; Ann and Mitt Romney Lies; a carrot incident, a Top Ten list; and Andy Kindler at the Republican National Convention. TOP TEN: FRESCO RESTORER EXCUSES

al-Qaeda Want Ad; a New Romney Campaign Commercial; Paul Ryan and Samuel Skinner at the Convention; Chris Christie's Keynote Address; a Top Ten List; Dave Promotes the U.S. Open for CBS, and Andy Kindler with a Report from the Republican National Convention. TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THE SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

Dr. Phil's car; get to know Reince; the national debt clock; the Chris Christie Cholesterol Clock; a new Republican commercial; security is tight at the Late Show; and a Top Ten list. TOP TEN HIGHLIGHTS OF PAST CONVENTIONS The First Lady says kids are eating healthier, but do they still play Pong?

Dave welcomes actor Bruce Willis, comedian Brian Regan, and musical guests The Heavy. The Late Show's 19th Anniversary; A Greet from a CBS Exec; a Few Looks In on the Republican National Convention; Weekend Late Show; a Top Ten List; and Andy Kindler at the Republican National Convention. TOP TEN: THINGS WE AT THE LATE SHOW HOPED TO ACCOMPLISH BY OUR 19TH ANNIVERSARY

Paul Ryan Not Lying; the New Co-Host at LIVE!; Is the Pressure Getting to Barack?; a Top Ten List; a Barack Obama Unfulfilled Campaign Promise; and Biff Henderson at the Democratic National Convention. Biff gets touchy-feely with Geraldo Rivera at the DNC. TOP TEN: QUESTIONABLE CLAIMS BY PAUL RYAN. The pregnant Claire Danes. Claire has been coming to the show since she was 16 years old, half a lifetime ago. DWYANE WADE He's a two-time and reigning NBA champion with the Miami Heat. From his new CD "Silver Age" in stores today, the founding member of Hüsker Dü performed "The Descent".

Political Twins in History; what's happening at the Convention; the new Obama campaign commercial; our team of political analysts standing by; Biff Henderson at the Democratic National Convention, and a Top Ten list presented by First Lady Michelle Obama. TOP TEN: REASONS TO WATCH THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION - and to present tonight's Top Ten list, plausibly live, First Lady Michelle Obama. You know her from the Harry Potter films. She now stars in a new film, "The Perks of Being A Wallflower." Emma spent the summer in Iceland working on another film. She's the host of the CBS daytime talk show, "The Talk". Julie is pleased that Dave is so familiar with "The Talk". Dave's political analysts: insight or incoherent?

Dave welcomes Howard Stern and musical guest Jason Aldean. A Mistake at the Convention; a Surprise at the Convention; Biff at the Convention; Weekend Late Show; and a Top Ten List. Biff gives Senator Patty Murray a shout-out at the DNC. TOP TEN: SIGNS IT'S TIME FOR A FLIGHT ATTENDANT TO RETIRE Howard is the day to two girls and Dave asks for some advice. Wait! What? Parenting advice from Howard?

Mike Francesca; the Late Show nurse; Who Cares?; a Barack Obama campaign commercial; a new baby; the Late Show softball team; a Top Ten list; Coach's Corner with Mike Singletary; and Dave to receive a Kennedy Center Honor. Dave makes the worst mistake of his life in front of the CBS nurse. TOP TEN: CHARACTERISTICS OF THE NEWLY DISCOVERED MONKEY JGL says he will reveal part of the Batman movie, adding "so if you haven't seen the movie yet, turn off your TV now". Dave jumps in, "Oh, they've done that a long time ago, long before you came out here". You know her from "The Office," and now Mindy has got herself in deep as the creator, writer, and star of the new FOX comedy series, "The Mindy Project".

President Barack Obama discusses the comments made by Mitt Romney in a recently released video. Dave wants to keep the vacant chair vacant . . . . just in case the President wants to speak to it. Dave and the President talked about the Conventions, the deficit, jobs, the divisiveness in politics, beer in the White House, the Romney tape, and the troubles in Libya, Egypt, and the Middle East.

An upset audience guy; an upset Mitt Romney; an upset Alan Kalter; and a Top Ten list. Alan Kalter's beautiful mind tries to figure out how Dave became a Kennedy Center Honoree. TOP TEN: MITT ROMNEY PET PEEVES ABOUT AMERICANS He's the new co-host of "Live! With Kelly and Michael" beating out the 53% Romney likes. "We Made This Movie" is Arthur's first film and he is terribly excited, as are his parents in Chicago. Their excitement makes Arthur even more excited . . . but not so excited that he would fly them in for the premiere.

Great Moments on the Campaign Trail; Obama in the House; an Invitation to Mitt; a Top Ten List; Weekend Late Show; and Jesus is On The Line! TOP TEN: SUGGESTIVE BASEBALL PHRASES Nathan is a New Yorker and says he is lucky to be alive. He made the mistake of carpooling with Lindsay Lohan. He's the 2012 IndyCar Series Champion. Ryan drove for Dave for a year-and-a-half in 2007-2008. Dave shows off the Astor Cup with IndyCar champ Ryan Hunter-Reay.

Dave welcomes actor Steve Martin and musical guest Gotye. Pat Farmer with a question; Slow News Day; What did Dave do during the Emmys; New Books, a Top Ten list; and the recipient of the Steve Martin Prize for Excellence in Banjo and bluegrass, Mark Johnson. TOP TEN: LEAST POPULAR SNACKS Steve is here to perform with year's winner of the annual Steve Martin Prize For Excellence in Banjo and Bluegrass. Dave welcomes the world's richest man, Mexican business magnate with a net worth of 69 billion dollars, Carlos Slim. GOTYE: from his album, "Making Mirrors," the singer from Australia performed "Eyes Wide Open".

Something For the Swedes; Alan is Late for the Show; the Obamas on "The View"; Mitt Trying Out Material; Ahmadinejad Drops By; a Top Ten List; and a Phone Call from the Commissioner of the NFL. Alan Kalter arrives late after a bad night refereeing the Packers/Seahawks game. TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU'RE A BAD REFEREE Kaley was impressed with the balloon through the nose Stupid Human Trick.

The U.N. In Memoriam; something for our Dutch friends; more tax returns from Mitt; and a Top Ten list. TOP TEN: WORDS THAT ALMOST RHYME WITH 'MAHMOUD Dave and the Prime Minister talk about the Arab Spring, the Euro, the financial state of the U.K., running for the office of Prime Minister, and the successful Summer Olympics and Para Olympics. And Larry the Kitty. Jonny's in the new CBS drama "Elementary." Jonny is Sherlock Holmes! Playing the role of Dr. Watson is Lucy Liu.

Ahmadinejad at the U.N.; a New Mitt Release; Mitt on the Campaign; the Zogby Poll; and a CBS Promo. Jimmy Fallon - star and host of "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon." And he's the executive producer of the new NBC show, "Guys with Kids," Wednesdays at 8:30. Neil's "music player" is called the Pono. It promises to be better than anything you've experienced before. He shows off the prototype at the desk.

Ahmadinejad in New York, the ancient papyrus; a Top Ten list; and Dave makes a plea to Mitt. TOP TEN REASONS MITT ROMNEY SHOULD APPEAR ON THE SHOW Our favorite uncle!! Dave is happy to see his old friend. What has Regis been up to? What did he do last night? Tom is in Clint Eastwood's new film, "Trouble With The Curve." We take a look at Tom's entire performance in the film.

Fox News highlight; Mitt zingers; Memorable Debate Comebacks; Dave's Voter Guide; and a Top Ten list. TOP TEN: WORST POLITICIAN EXCUSES The very funny Mr. Colbert hosts the very successful "The Colbert Report" on the Comedy Central. Colbert was a recent guest on the new Oprah show, "Oprah's Next Chapter". Theresa is able to make a connection. She admits to feeling someone in the green room. She's the Long Island Medium. She talks to dead people, or as she calls it, people who have crossed-over.

Genius Grants; the U.S. Postal Service; a Top Ten List; and a Mitt Romney on the Late Show Simulation. TOP TEN: THINGS OVERHEARD WHEN JUSTIN BIEBER URPED To allay any concerns the Romney campaign may have, we decided to offer this simulation of how his appearance would go. Mr. Short is full of compliments for Dave, impressed with Dave's youthful hair and skin . . . the skin not firm, but very youthful. Kat, short for Katherine, is from the hit CBS comedy series, "2 Broke Girls."

The new NFL uniforms; American Airlines explains; a debate promo from Telemundo; and a Top Ten list. TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU HAVE A BAD DEBATE MODERATOR TINA FEY - it's the 7th and final season of "30 Rock". The divisiveness in Washington is not reflected in the people across America -C-SPAN has created a stage for the Congress to perform. This has a lot to do with why nothing gets done. From her CD, "Into The Wild", LP performed "Into The Wild".

A Debate Highlight; Body Language; Depression Medication; Jim Lehrer: Tough Gig; What's New with Mitt; a Top Ten List; Funding Cut at PBS; a Simulation of Mitt Romney in the Guest Chair. TOP TEN PRESIDENT OBAMA EXCUSES - why such a poor performance Wednesday night? Craig has moved his "Late Late Show" into a new studio. The old one was small . . . small for a studio, but big for a closet. Anna is now starring in the new film, "Pitch Perfect" about competitive free-style acapella.

Early Voting; Is a Time Machine Possible?; Results in the Latest Zogby Poll; a Top Ten List; and Weekend Late Show with Bruce and Linda. TOP TEN: THINGS YOU DON'T EXPECT TO HEAR FROM A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER - NFL players are complaining that the new form-fitting uniforms make them look fat. Billy is in town to celebrate the 25th Anniversary of "The Princess Bride" at nearby Lincoln Center. From the forthcoming album, "Glad All Over," The Wallflowers performed "Reboot The Mission".

Animal expert Jack Hanna; from "New Girl," actor Max Greenfield.

From "Here Comes the Boom," actress Salma Hayek Pinault; from "Parks and Recreation," actor Nick Offerman; musical guest KISS.

From "Elementary," actress Lucy Liu; actor Rob Corddry; musical guests Daughter.

From "Trouble with the Curve," actor John Goodman; comic Jeff Altman; musical guests Jamey Johnson with Alison Krauss

From "Cloud Atlas", actor Tom Hanks; musical guest Tony Bennett.

Musical guest Taylor Swift; political journalist Rachel Maddow.

Journalist Bill O'Reilly; reality television star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi; musical guests The Lumineers.

Real estate mogul Donald Trump; from "The Voice," musician Adam Levine; musical guest Carly Rae Jepsen

From "Vegas," actor Dennis Quaid; from "Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23," actress Krysten Ritter; musical guests Diamond Rings.

From "Flight," actor Denzel Washington; musical guest Paul Banks

Meteorologist Jim Cantore; documentary filmmaker Ken Burns; musical guests St. Vincent and David Byrne (Kate Hudson, from "Glee" Scheduled, cancelled to due to Hurricane Sandy)

Talk show host and ABC Special Correspondent Katie Couric; New Halloween Costumes; Musical guest by Rita Ora

Musicians Steven Tyler and Joe Perry; actress Judy Greer; musical guests Aerosmith; a Top Ten List presented by Vice President Joe Biden

From "Saturday Night Live," actor Jason Sudeikis; comic Michael Che; musical guests Ultraĩsta

From "The Big Bang Theory," actor Simon Helberg; actor/comic Ricky Gervais; musical guest Ty Segall.

News anchor Brian Williams; musical guest Ne-Yo

Actor Robin Williams; a Top Ten List presented by Homer Simpson from "The Simpsons"; musical guest Lianne La Havas

Journalist and talk show host Anderson Cooper; Comic Myq Kaplan; musical guests Alberta Cross

From "Silver Linings Playbook," actor Bradley Cooper; comic Robert Klein; musical guests Soundgarden

rom "The Good Wife," actress Julianna Margulies; Stupid Pet Tricks; musical guests Mumford & Sons

From "30 Rock," actor Alec Baldwin; musical guests Dirty Projectors

From "New Girl," actress Zooey Deschanel; comic Lisa Lampanelli; musical guest Donald Fagen

Talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw; comic Carmen Lynch; musical guest Divine Fits

From "Playing for Keeps," actress Jessica Biel; musician Pete Townshend; musical guest Philip Phillips; Top Ten by Pail Rudd

From "Parks and Recreation," actress Amy Poehler; from "Red Dawn," actor Josh Hutcherson; musical guests Tegan and Sara; Special Top Ten list presented by NASCAR Champion Brad Keselowski

From "Hitchcock," actress Scarlett Johansson; musician Willie Nelson; musical guest Gary Clark Jr.

Robert Plant, Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones from Led Zeppelin, honorees at "The 35th Annual Kennedy Center Honors"; from "The Office," actor John Krasinski; musical guest Paloma Faith

From "Promised Land," actor Matt Damon; from "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey," actor Martin Freeman; musical guest J.D. McPherson

From "This is 40," actor Albert Brooks; musical guests Diana Krall

From "Hyde Park on Hudson," actor Bill Murray; musical guests Vintage Trouble

Actor Dustin Hoffman, an honoree at "The 35th Annual Kennedy Center Honors"; musical guests One Direction

From "Les Miserables," actress Anne Hathaway; from "New Girl," actor Jake Johnson; a Top Ten List presented by the 2012 Heisman Trophy winner; musical guests "The President's Own" United States Marine Band

From "Les Miserables," actress Amanda Seyfried; ballerina Natalia Makarova, honoree at "35th Annual Kennedy Center Honors"; musical guests Awolnation; a Top Ten List presented by rock icon Mick Jagger

From "Parental Guidance," actor Billy Crystal; photographer James Balog; musical guests Grizzly Bear

From "Django Unchained," actor Jamie Foxx; from "The Talk," co-host Julie Chen; musical guests DIIV

From "Django Unchained," actor Samuel L. Jackson; from "Portlandia," actors Carrie Brownstein & Fred Armisen; Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit perform

From "Jack Reacher," actor Tom Cruise; musical guests MNDR

From "This Is 40," actor Paul Rudd; musical guest Alicia Keys

From "The Guilt Trip," actor Seth Rogen; Christmas Toys; comic John Witherspoon

Actress Katie Holmes; musical guest Jon Bon Jovi

From "The Impossible," actress Naomi Watts; actor Jay Thomas; musical guest Darlene Love