Because nothing says "Happy 200th, America" like crappy "collectibles", Up With People and bizarre Government films.

Featuring such great (non-)hits from the likes of Hairy Nielsen, BAAB, William Turkey and many, many more! Order today!!!

What do you mean Ben is fashion-challenged?

Seeing as the Archive somehow managed to hit the 30 episode mark, it seemed like a good time to throw a nice, little (tax-deductible) party. Plus, Ben sings a viewer poll-selected song (a move that was instantly regretted by all who voted).

Covert broadcasts...and how to decode them (your results may vary).

Or, as Ben likes to call it, the Max Headroom Incident's annoying, less creative little brother.

And Ben thought it would just be another cool toy for his collection. How naive...

Learn to gamble--Archive style! God help us...

Come visit the Archive Children's Disco before it's condemned!

Forced to discuss his fourth knockoff Disco record in a row, Ben has a slight meltdown.

VHS vs. Beta? How 1977...

Ben's still having nightmares about being forced to play charades with Rich Little.

An interesting, but (unsurprisingly) failed, early attempt at multimedia interactivity.

Five forgotten holiday albums that will...more than likely remain forgotten.

Have you ever wanted to make "melons" in real estate? If so, you've come to the right place!

...because salesmen need the comfort of knowing that their product is truly the answer to all problems (consumerist OR existential).

Don't screw with Jam Handy!

The Archive is currently experiencing technical difficulties...LOTS of them...and Ben refuses to take responsibility. So there.

If V.D. really is for everybody, why don't I have it?

...because only Ben would be stupid enough to devote an entire regular Archive episode to between-show filler.

Alternate Title: Why Ben should never make a full "behind-the-scenes" episode. Alternate Title #2: Ben stammers for 38 minutes. Alternate Title #3: Why Ben will never get a date.

The Archive gathers together all your favorite '70's hits--then realizes that the major labels, the RIAA, etc. would have our nuts in a sling over it. More ripoff records it is then! All 70's edition!

Wait, there's a logic to all this?

***THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A ***SEVERE FALSE NOSTALGIA WARNING*** FOR YOUR AREA UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE***

Alternate Title: How to Survive an Unprovoked Attack From Your Electric Mixer.